Epilogue from hell

After a really weird, stressful summer filled with medical tests, I'm back -- and slowly getting back into the third book in my YA series. I've also started another book more along the lines of College Girl, which I have tentatively titled Lawyer. I'm about five chapters in, but I haven't yet figured out whether I'll actually finish it. We'll see.

Now, about that epilogue from hell ...

As I said originally: I never intended College Girl as anything more than a stand-alone novel. And while I think there's more to Alex and Ryan's story, I didn't want to drag things out. Plus, when I'm writing, I have a tendency to want to burn things down by the end. It's sick and twisted, but unless I'm sobbing as I finish writing a book, then it just doesn't feel complete. On the other hand, I love happy endings. Heavy sigh. Yeah, it just doesn't make sense.

After I finished College Girl -- with the ending that you read -- I had the same nagging feeling since I wasn't a sobbing mess on the floor as soon as I finished the last word. So, what did I do? I went ahead and wrote the epilogue from hell. Then I promptly locked myself in the bathroom for a half hour to cry. Only two people have seen said epilogue from hell. One of them was my husband, who said something along the lines of: "Holy shit! That's really, really evil. You can't publish that." I sulked for a few days, and then I realized he was right. Now my little epilogue sits lonely and dejected on my hard drive.

In another dangerously unhealthy impulse, I've been tempted to release a little bit from the beginning of Lawyer, but that would be just another psychologically damaging little habit I have -- releasing stuff before I'm ready and then getting pissed at myself for doing it. If I do decide to release Lawyer down the road, I'll post teasers here. Stay tuned!

My question now is: where did you see Alex and Ryan ending up after the final pages of College Girl? The epilogue I wrote is one alternate ending. Maybe you have a better (happier) one.

S.G.